Friday, September 26, 2014

Stewart says crash was '100 percent' accident

There were days when NASCAR star Tony Stewart couldn't get out of bed. It was a chore to take a shower, to leave his room. The television was on, he would stare at it, and have no idea what he was watching. He didn't care about motor racing. He didn't want to talk to anyone, let alone face his family, friends or other drivers. Stewart's grief over the death of Kevin Ward Jr. was overwhelming, and he couldn't find his way out of the fog. Stewart spent three weeks in seclusion at his Indiana home after the car he was driving struck and killed Ward at a dirt track in upstate New York on Aug. 9. He describes those weeks as the darkest of his life. "I know 100 percent in my heart and in my mind that I did not do anything wrong. This was 100 percent an accident," Stewart told The Associated Press on Thursday in his first interview since a grand jury decided he would not be charged in Ward's death. On the advice of legal counsel, Stewart would not describe what he remembers about the crash at Canandaigua Motorsports Park. Sitting on the couch of his North Carolina home, a sprint car race in Arkansas on mute on the television, Stewart said not being able to talk about what happened is extending his anguish. "It keeps me from moving forward. It just stays there, hanging over my head," Stewart said. Ward and Stewart didn't know each other, and Stewart doesn't recall them ever talking. He laments that in the scrutiny that followed - some questioned if Stewart had tried to intimidate Ward for stepping on the track - that the loss of the 20-year-old driver and his promising career fell to the background. He said he can't imagine how the Ward family is feeling. "I guess the end result is I don't blame them for anything they say," he said. He said he needed professional help to cope with the situation, and asking for assistance wasn't easy. Stewart, 43, isn't married, has no children, and keeps a tight inner circle. He's a solitary figure of sorts, someone who broods and stews alone, and opening himself up for self-examination was a monumental task. "There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought about it. And it will be like that all your life," he said. "You are never going to forget about it. You are never going to not see it happen all over again. It's going to be a part of me forever."(AP)

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